Friday, September 15, 2006

Antara Intan & Kaca

Aku bersyukur kerana limpahan yang Allah berikan kepada ku. Sejak aku kecil aku merasakan begitu disayangi oleh ibubapa ku. Seolah-olah aku ini anak yang mempunyai kelebihan dari abang dan adik-adik ku. Mungkin Mak dan Abah nampak bahawa aku lain dari yang lain. Tetapi setahu aku, aku tidak pernah merasakan yang aku dimanjakan lebih dari mereka. malahan aku hidup bersama-sama merasakan kepayahan hidup ketika itu.

Abah seorang askar yang 'garang' dan tidak tahu memanjakan anak-anaknya. Manakali Mak pula terpaksa menghempas pulas memastikan kami semua boleh 'jidup;. Aku masih ingat ketika di Kem Seletar, Singapura dan di Kg. Kayu, Singapura dimana disitu lah permulaan kehidupan kami yang agak susah. Tapi tak pernah kami tak dapat makan. Mak akan menghidang makanan walaupun mungkin tak banyak lauk. Aku tak ingat tentang lauk2. Tapi dalam kesusahan itu, aku masih ada punya prinsip hidup dan masih punya wawasan masa hadapan.... Ya, aku tidak pernah mengabaikan pelajaran ku. Malahan aku sentiasa mahu berjaya dalam pelajaran. Aku akan belajar bersungguh khususnya dihujung tahun..untuk dapat tempat 1 ke 3. a, supaya sekolah akan memberi aku hadiah. Abah tidak pernah memberi sebarang hadiah kepada aku mahupun abang dan adik2 lain. Maklum sajalah, kami susah. Tapi aku masih ingat kepada satu hari dimana Abah membeli buku cerita (lebih kurang 2 - 3 buah). Wah aku merasa begitu gembira dapat membaca buku2 itu. Begiu berharganya hadiah seorang ayah kepada anaknya.

Selain dari memastikan aku berjaya dalam pelajaran, aku tidak lupa membantu Mak di rumah. Aku belajar memasak dan membersihkan rumah. Membasuh kain baju dan membantu Mak menjaga adik2. Amalan ini aku teruskan hingga aku ke Mesir dan berkeluarga. Aku memabntu dan Imenunjukkan kepada Isteriku pada peringkat mulanya kami menjaga Maryam. Lepas Maryam, kami dapat pula Hilmi dan seterusnkya Aiman, Hana dan Aimi.

Setiap anak ada kelbihan masing2. Sebagai ibubapa, aku mahukan yang terbaik bagi setiap anak. Tapi, aku hanya mampu menunukkan jalan utk mereka. Merekalah yang akan meniti jalan itu sendiri.Aku lihat anak2 ku sekarang yang dah besar panjang... Adakah mereka intan atau kaca? Sebagai bapa, aku tetap sayang kepada mereka tapi aku terfikir selepas solat Isya' tadi apa yang akan berlaku sekiranya aku atau isteruku mati kelak? Apakah yang akan mereka lakukan jika kami tiada lagi? Mungkin pencen ku tapi mereka dah tak layak kerena semua dah berumur lebih dari 20 tahun. Aku hanya baki hidup lagi 10 ke 15 tahun.

Ya Allah, berikan ku petunjuk agar dapat aku gilap potensi anak2 ku supayamereka boleh berbakti kepada diri sendiri dan keluarga mereka di kemudian hari. Aku juga sedar bahawa dalam usia yg sudah dewasa, mereka mempunyai cara tersendiri. Kadang2 aku hanya mampu melihat dari jauh dan menelan perasaan aku. Yang pasti, aku akan mati dan mereka akan meneruskan hidup mereka mengikut pilihan mereka sendiri.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

DR. NORBAIZURA

Last week (4/9/2006), an ambulance tranferring a patient from Hospital Tuanku Ja'afar, Seremban to Hospital Selayang met with an acident at Bangi. There were 4 other people besides the patient and the driver in the ambulance.

Out of the 6 people, Dr. Norbaizura and the staff nurse were seriously injured. The SN's condition is improving but still in the ICU. Unfortunately Dr. Norbaizura is still critically ill. She sustained multipl injuries which are life-threatening.

I visited her about 5 hours after the accident when she was still at the Emergency Dept. I could'nt help felt extremely sorry for her, her husband and mother. She was being intubated and had chest tubes on both sides of her chest.. I touched her feet and felt it cold and lifeless. I remembered a poem written by Dr. Mohd Khalid about me at Hospital Queen, Kota Kinabalu. I said my prayers for her and hoped she will pull through it, Insya Allah.

After she was transterrred to ICU, I met a group of her HO colleagues. I advised them to see her and give their prayers to her. That is all we can do to hlp an unconscious friend. When we are unscious, we cannot do anything. It is up to those still alive to help us. I learn this from my ordesal in KK.

Dr. Norbaizura, I ill keep on praying for your recovery if that is better for you. AMIN!!!

At Last I have The Time

I've been putting off the thought of updating my blog. Last week Maryam phoned me and requested that I update my blog. Tried doing it after my work but unable cos could'nt remember my username and password. heheh.

Even read Aimi's blog but could'nt make any comment for the same reason... sorry Aimi.

Today Hana managed to help me and here I am trying to squeeze the time at Mut Yuuuk's computer. Shes in KL so I can use her computer till this evening.

It is great typing the words and reading words on the screen. I can still remember about a year ago I could not see those words clearly. Now, even though the haze is still there I can read quite clearly. Thank God. Withntime I do hope my vision will improve and I will be able to see the beauty of this world again.

Karnival Jom Makan secara Sihat 2006

Went to the carnival yesterday with Hilmi. Wanna meet some people whom I've left about 3 months ago. To my surpeise they still remember me and even acknowledged my presence by inviting me to hand over winners of the Food Race, inviting me to dancethe POCO-POCO and even asked me to sing. I know I am not a good dancer nor am I a good singer. But I obliged the organiser after all. you can call me a sporting chap. I admit I am.

Well, life is about being attached to people and doing things that would feel being appreciated. I felt that the organisers wanted me to be a part of the show and it would give them some weightage by my participating in their program. I managed to see the snapshot of my dancing the poco-poco that was candidly taken by Hilmi. Now I believed what my friend told me that I danced like a tree trunk.. hehehe.

I did what I did without expecting any rewards. I appreciated the recognition given to me by the organisers. And if my presence did make their carnival more lively, that would be encouraging both for me and the organisers.

When one of them asked me whether I was happy, I told him that I was extremely elated and thanked him for noticing my presence. .. Jebat